The Crazy Corn Maze

So last night we journeyed clear out to West Jordon and went to a Corn Maze!! Only because our other Maze options were : Thanksgiving Point, Pleasant Grove, and my personal favorite, stealing some littles and going to the pumpkin patch and mini maze in Farmington.

To say we had a fun time is an insult to the nights events. We had a riot! Between the boys shucking the corn and throwing it hither and thither, and my improve Dorothy meets a Jedi impersonations, it would be safe to say we had gotten lost, in so many ways...

Now the point to this maze -other than the obvious- was to find the numbered markers that when you discovered them had a obscure piece of trivia for you that would direct you were to go next. If it was True you went Left if it was False, you got it Right! This only aided in us getting lost, considering we went straight from 2 to 6.

Eventually we did find the exit, much to our indifference. We didn't really WANT to leave cause we were having a great time, but then again nothing can last forever and it was 10 on a week day.

I'll end my blog with some of my favorite corn maze moments:

(We stopped at Starbucks to get Apple Cider before going to the maze, thinking it would keep us nice and warm while we walked, both Jason and Grant finished theirs before ever entering the corn)
Grant: WOW Amber your hands are warm!!
Amber: Hello!! Apple CIDER!!
Jason: Amber, how long has your cider been cold?
Amber: a while

(This conversation came after another conversation about how many people had used the corn as a bathroom while being lost. A feat in which we were witnesses too.)
Amber: How many people do you think have wet themselves in the Haunted Corn Maze?
Jason: I don't think any have
Amber: Come on their scared AND lost!!
Grant: I think maybe a few
Amber: See he's optimistic!!
Jason: OK someone has probably wet themselves in the Haunted Maze
Amber: Good that makes me happy

(after see a group of teens waving around multi-colored light saber-esc flashlights)
Grant: I should have brought my light saber!!
Jason: You know my brother has all of them! The cool $100+ ones
Amber: NEAT then we could go around the maze like this *Amber doing a bad imitation of a Jedi fighting*

And lastly...

(coming out of a dead end that I was positive was deserted)
Amber: We should skip
Grant & Jason: No we shouldn't
Amber: Come on we can sing too
Grant: Go ahead
Amber: OK WE'RE OFF TO SEE--Holy Crap, Why did people have to show up right as I started singing

TO END I WANT TO DEFEND MYSELF, I DRANK A LOT OF APPLE CIDER ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. AND I"LL HAVE YOU KNOW I CARRIED THE CUP TO THE VERY END INSTEAD OF TOSSING IT IN THE CORN!! AND JASON AND GRANT SHOULD BE THANKING THEIR LUCKY STARS THAT I DIDN"T POUR SOME OF IT ON THEM BECAUSE I WAS DELIRIOUSLY CLOSE...

Continuation of Work Converstation

Eric: Hows the cake? Germalious?
Me: Yep
Eric: Must not be the poisoned one..
Me: I’m sorry, well maybe its one of those slow poisons
Eric: No, its good old fashion antifreeze
Me: Oh, well then I guess I got lucky. Don’t worry though it seems pretty popular, I’m sure someone will be poisoned by the end of the day.
Eric: That will make me feel better.
Me: *chuckles*

Random Work Converstations

I stole this idea from M&N blog. I wasn't going to because Mark does it so well it can't be duplicated, but this converstation was just to good:

Time: 12:10
Place: Office

Trevor: Amber what are you eating?
Me: Pinapple chicken and German Chocolate Cake – According to Eric its made with real Germans
Trevor: Really? Made by or with?
Me: With!
Trevor: Wow how’d you swing that prim piece?
Me: I don’t know, but apparently my piece is also the poisoned one
Trevor: I guess being the only girl in the office does have its advantages
Me: *eating cake* You better believe it!

MUST LOVE CATS

I was recently sent a rather amusing email about Pets. Having the two speicies depicted in the email I could relate and nod my head quite a bit. But I'm not posting this for similar minded animal lovers, I'm posting it because I have a very odd sence of humor and find the Cats perspective prrrr...fict (lol) and would post it all by itself if I could but I thought it wouldn't work quite so well without the Dogs. Please enjoy!

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

...Day 983 of my captivity...


My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the eve nt. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

In Which I try to break the unbreakable

Last week we made one of our weekly trips to Lowes. (exciting I know)

Now if you've never been to Lowes you haven't experienced the sensation of being bored out of your wits and being overwhelmed with limitless possiblities to better your home and garden(s).

On this particular trip we are in the search for outlet covers(!) Altogether not a hard task, or even that boring, you see its next to the sample light switches, and if you have a child under the age of 3 you'll know the significants of those (they go up and down and make a neat clicking noise!)

Now I'm not entirely sure how this all came about but it started with the discovery of a brand that claimed it was UNBREAKABLE. And ended with me monologing about how unbreakable things really can be broken, "if you honestly put your back in to it, sure".

So to my utter delight and astonishment Grant bought an extra cover for the sole purpose of its experamental destruction.

View Experament below:

(Did I have fun smaking the cover with a hammer? Yes, yes I did)

TA DA ~ * -

Now it still may be in one piece but we're pretty sure it belongs in the land of misfit home accessories ie BROKEN!!!!!!!!

The Tradition

My parents have owned a House Boat in Lake Powell for 16ish years. In those 16ish years I have had the opportunity to visit good 'ol Powell almost every one of them. This year was no exception. Well to be completely honest it almost was, but as bad luck and fate would have it we got a last minute invite :)

This trip promised to be one of a kind. With the absence of my oldest brother and sister/husband this was already shaping up to be a small group. Losing another family days before didn't particularly help either. Luckily the remaining family was successful in bribing two of their kids; so our Rocking party topped out at: 9 Adults, 1 teen and a child.

As a couple Grant and I aren't big on large group activities, so we were just fine with the arrangements, not only did we get all our food to fit in one cooler and a box, I got my own seat and head phones!!!

SKIPPING OVER ENJOYABLE SPY KID, SLEEP FILED, 8 YEAR OLD CONTROLLED, FREAKING COLD CAR RIDE

The Lake.
Now as a little kid I always had to sit back and watched the Adults do their thing, thinking quietly in my head: I can't wait until I can help, WOW look at that shell! this is so NEAT!
Being an Adult I now get the pleasure of helping, and I find myself thinking: WOW look at that shell! maybe i can both watch the boat AND look at lake shells..

Just kidding..

No really I like helping it makes me feel really good that my parents trust my awesome adultness.

Keeping with tradition upon arriving at the Ship we discover we're locked out of the House Boat. Easily enough fixed, we pry open a window and threw the smallest person through. Another funny quirk our House Boat has, is its ability to not work properly in some form ie: Kangaroo Mouse hide-out, hole in septic tank, wrench replacing steering wheel. You know normal stuff. So first things first we check the log book to see what the people before us had to say:

1. Had Fantastic time only thing we couldn't get out drives to start, Stayed on buoy whole trip

Sad :( and also a lie! Now we aren't normally distrusting people, especially when it comes to the House Boat, aptly called: the Job Site. It was just to much to ignore the out drives starting first try. We figured these people were probably just idiots, which was further proven when we discovered the gas tanks were extremely low and they hadn't emptied the septic tanks. Stayed on the buoy? I think NOT!

Moving on to the trip:
We have a spot that we love. Its up Lost Canyon, for those of you who don't know, Lost Canyons extremely small, especially for Lake Powell standards, its often over looked. Could explain its name.

Why we love it:
1.camping spots are extremely limited, meaning no annoying neighbors, meaning free reign of entire canyon
2. you can't get lost (funnily enough) and if you DO it takes a whole 15 mins to adventure the whole place so, I don't think that constitutes being lost.
3. Its size is deceiving, one wouldn't think a House Boat of Job Sites proportions could navigate the Canyon. One would be wrong.

So we're parked and having a grand 'ol time. Nick has discovered the swarms of fish off the rock banks we are tied up to, and they have him thoroughly intrigued. We are parked such that we only will get 5 hours of sun, which encourage naps for those not entertained via books, jet skiing or dry ice in water bottles... Did you know if you trap dry ice in a water bottle and throw in at your designed target it will explode? You learn something new every day and Grant learned this. He effectively used up our entire stock. It was actually pretty entertaining he had one that he threw in the water soar oVEr the House Boat.

So remember when I said that in our camping spot we only got 5 hours of sun? That is due to the large over hang we parked under. This spot had been debated on for a long time before we parked because it was supposed to rain and the older generation of our group have witnessed waterfalls from like over hangs and have had a HUGE rock fall 20-50 yards away from their boat before. Some how the parents were over ruled and we stayed, to all the younger generations peril. It rained.. it POURED.. it Soaked our bedding. It was pretty sudden and we all had to run and save our stuff, it felt very much like 2.5 years ago when we were caught in a flash flood.. not fun and i was scared the rest of the night. However nothing worse then soggy pillows, and a scrapped knee followed the night and the rain was gone :)

Fishing was a popular day activity, many of the House Boat occupants tried their hand at the sport. None however were as expert as Nick. See I made a chart!

Adults vs Fish = 0
Fish vs Adults = 2

Teen vs Fish = 2
Fish vs Teen = 0

Nick vs Fish = 8
Fish vs Nick = 1

There were also many boating adventures none of which Grant or I went on. Why? easily answer... well not so easy, I'll try to make it short. I was diagnosed with H-Pylori (again) before we left. That is a nasty stomach bacteria that causes ulcers and is the leading case in stomach cancer! Luckily I just have the bacteria, no ulcers. I was put on medication for 2 two weeks that i had to take twice daily. They didn't cause the havoc they once had when I was in high school but they did make me very nauseous and... sick. So really it was an act of mercy that I didn't go with everyone.

I can't pretend it didn't suck but as Grant said "Its not like you haven't seen it 20 times before" True but I still wanted to go. Though if we had Grant and I would have never discovered a neat little alcove that is only accessible by jet ski, rock climbing and trudging threw red mud. It was SO neat I wanted to go back and bring Grants camera up but since no boat can get back far enough and he wasn't going to take the camera on the jet ski we didn't get any proof, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Now the compromise the other family made with there kids is that they would leave Monday, when the vacation officially ended Tuesday. So the Hill-Biesingers were left to their own devices on Monday evening and Tuesday. No one should leave devices up to Kimberly and I they'll get stuff like:
Blaring The Pussy Cat Dolls: When I grow-up and Dancing about the ship
3 hours rousing game of Boggle, commandeering Nicolas' blow-up jet ski, torturing fish, WAY to much food, Nicolas driving the jet ski and pulling me behind him!! My Dad dropping a ski and loosing it, Grant breaking the tubs toe rope, and to my moms displeasure and my delight at an unsuccessful search for fresh water jelly fish.

To say the least it was a very fun and eventful trip and I can't wait for the next one. Hopefully Allysen Joey and Jake will be able to come too.