For the most part I’d like to think of myself as a very up beat person. I don’t hold grudges, and get over things rather quickly. Life is just to short to be upset.
That said there are a few aspects of life I will lay down my flower and put on some boxing gloves for. There are only a few and those who know me steer clear of them because I will fight it, and I fight dirty. Fortunatly for them it’s relatively easy to avoid the subjects.
Well not so easy as all that.
Yesterday I was offended to the enth degree by someone I already wasn’t on very good terms with due to previous acts of ignorance. I wanted to call them out then and there but was restrained do to the playing field. Which was ****, and I was told it would be VERY rude to post such a public back lash. That only made me want to do it more. I was however talked out of it, so to speak..
The compromise was that I could blog about it, on a blog that, that person wont probably ever read. I still don’t see where the compromise is, but eh *shrugs* I still get to vent. And hopefully stop others from doing the same thing.
Alright, so I’m sure you’re all on the edge of your seat to know what this is all about huh? Well why don’t I tell you what happened to offend me so much THEN I will explain why.
Me: Did a quiz
Allysen: comments that she got the same result.
Offender: “Hate to state the obvious ladies, but you are twins.”
(side note a mutual friend got the SAME results too, are we triplets?)
Ok class see anything wrong with that statement? Yes! You’re right she is implying we are a single entity.
Can anyone tell me what is wrong with that thinking? No Jimmy that’s incorrect. Twins are TWO different people go out into the hall and never come back mmk?
Hello everyone I’m Amber and I’m a fertenal twin. I’ve been free from the twin stigma for five years *claps* My sister and I however have never been closer *claps*
Thats right, I hate being a twin. I hate everything there is about being a twin. On the upside though I don’t hate my sister, I thought I did at one point because she was the source of all my problems and discriminating. But she’s just as much a victim as I am.
If twins are alike (not visually I’ll talk about that later) it’s because they were raised by the same parents!! Just like other normal non-twin siblings. Twins go to the same school at the same time because they were born in time for that age group, just like all of their classmates. Twins are nothing more then siblings that came at the same time! They are seperate individuals, and deserve to be treated as such!
I am not a shell, I am not a ghost, I am not lacking by myself, I am a normal person. Give twins the right to individualize! Unless you yourself are a twin you will never know what it’s really like. Its not accurate to say that I’m compared to my sister, people just expect us to be the same. Living my life as a twin has been the pinnacle hardships.
Never to have anything for yourself, nothing to claim as yours. And why should there be? Its so cute to dress twins the same way: They have matching wardrobes. They have one birthday, one party, one/same gift. They have the same school, classmates think its only right to be both of their friends. Why should they be treated as individuals when so obviously there’s only one person!
One thing you learn well as a twin is to be selfish, if your not you’ll never have anything that is your own. No matter how hard I tried to separate myself it never worked, I only caused heartache. I didn’t think it was such a bad idea to have separate birthday parties one her way one mine, but apparently that’s just not done with twins. Eventually I gave up my birthday, it was not a special unique day that I could call my own.
If by some miracle people noticed we were different they got upset and preferred us to act like twins.
To quote book I recently read: “It’s a curious Idea. I should have thought the opposite, wouldn’t you? That you could expect them to be more alike than dissimilar?”
How cruel is that for a growing child? The author spoke of shadows, and ghost twins there she had some insight. We are very much shadows of each other, where one succeeds, one learns the other does as well, due to over active parenting or school teachers. theres no singular triumph.
Can you imagine sharing every Event in your life? Graduation, Birthdays, First days of School, First Car, all those firsts are not yours to cherish but to share.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister. A love that transcends all sibling affection, it’s the very fact that I’m a twin, which has diminished our relationship. Where teens would rebel against parents, or teachers; I rebelled against my twin, as hard as it was to leave my family I did gladly and don’t regret a thing, it was necessary to achieve a life outside of our forced unification.
How humiliating is it to be objectified as the ultimate sexual desire. Oh if I had a nickel for all the times I was asked if my sister can join us on a date.
Life as a twin is not as glamorous as anyone thinks. Of course I can’t speak for all twins. But I can speak for myself.
Please for the love of humanity treat twins as seperate beings. I can’t tell you how agonizing it is to be called Twinner, or asked where my other half is. I think for my entire time at school I was called Allysen as much if not more then Amber. And the worst part was, no one CARED. Apaprently you’re not expected to tell twins apart, and they(the twin pair in question) doesn’t care either, comes with the territory.
Oh and then theres the “Which ones Which” game and people tell you all the tricks they have to tell you apart. Ambers got a higher voice, Allysens taller; the game goes on and on then people start priding themselves on Not needing tricks we just look different!! Ya THINK!?
Heres were being a Fraternal (two seperate eggs) twin and an Identical (one egg splits) twin differ. And I will grant nontwins the uncertainty of telling them apart, I can’t even tell Identicals apart sometimes but I do my utmost to learn about the individual and thats how I tell them apart. Ie: John dresses this way because he’s more picky and likes to look nice.
They are still differnt people, they just LOOk alike, not their fault. Again tell me you’ve never seen a family that all the kids look the same and none of them are twins? Same thing.
Have I ranted enough? I’m getting tired. I think I have. Well class hope you learned something and wont make the same mistake as Mrs. Offender did.